Avast! Most people think that a pirate should have a peg leg and a bare feet when navigating the open seas. Me and my mateys felt the same way until a pharmaceutical rep boarded our ship to sell us scurvy pills. We were more impressed with his shoes than the pills. We were angry that the rep wasn't a woman, so we quickly stole the man's shoes and made him walk the plank. Little known fact: pirates always ask someone about to walk the plank to remove their shoes. Walking the plank isn't usually to kill someone, but rather to humiliate them -- I mean, we were still anchored in the port. I put one of the boat shoes on my good foot and immediately felt more ruthless, cutthroat, and in a general pillaging mood. My men began to grow more fearful of me, and because of this, I was able to lower their share of the booty by 10%! The deck of a pirate ship can get pretty slippery out on the open seas (especially when the first mate has an unfortunate on the job accident). Wearing these Sebago Schooners really helped my traction and has made me the pirate I am today.